IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY
Here's the deal, beautiful soul, somedays, you're going to not be okay. You're normal! You're human. You're going to experience those highs, lows, and turbulence. Things aren't always going to go your way, and sometimes, things are going to straight up fall apart. Sometimes YOU are going to straight up fall apart. That's OKAY!!! It's what you do during and after that makes all the difference in the world! I know I'm borderline preachy about not judging yourself for your emotions, but after watching a friend go through a hard time this week, and after going through my own couple of rough days, I think that half of the emotional battle is the judgement we place on ourselves for feeling so strongly, "negatively", extremely, and for our natural reactions. Like, this week, I hugged a sweet friend while she cried, and after she let out the reason she was crying, she immediately followed it by saying she was upset with herself for feeling that way, and she didn't know which one was worse: what she was feeling, or that she was upset at herself for feeling it and crying over it. So, I'm just here to say TIME THE F OUT! How much emotional stress would we free ourselves from if we just let ourselves pass through an emotional experience without beating ourselves up for it? I swear, that's literally half of the emotional battle!!! So, let's make things easier on ourselves. Let's nix half of the stress. Let's just let ourselves not be ok!
"That's an uncomfortable space! I don't want to feel this way! Make it stop!", you might be thinking. Well, wanna learn? Wanna grow? Wanna heal this wound? Wanna experience peace? Then, face it, sugar tits. Now, in the crux of the pain and discomfort is the time and the place to give yourself love and grace. How can you be sweet and gentle to yourself? If you were to encounter yourself at the age of, say, 6, and you were upset, how would you treat that child? Would you get mad and say, "Don't cry! That's weak!" Fingers crossed, you wouldn't! How about a little sister? A little girl that looks up to you? Would you talk to her in a way that made her feel worse for the things that she's feeling? Lord, I hope not. So, then, why on God's green earth do we think it's ok to talk to ourselves that way? BE GENTLE! You deserve love all the way, and you have to start by giving it to yourself. Remember when I said that how you treat yourself tells the world how it should treat you? Yea, be nice.
Here are a few little things you can do to give back to yourself during those emotional lows.
Have a good cry. If you need to wait till you get to your car or home, that's fine, but once you're there, turn on the sad music. Climb into the shower, the bed, your safe space, and sob your heart out. It moves that energy through your body and enables you to release it.
Go to a yoga class, the gym, or go beat the snot out of a bag in a kickboxing class. Again, you're getting that energy moving through your body. You might be surprised how you feel afterwards! Feel free to cry or scream afterwards! Get it out!!!
Take a bubble bath. For me, in times of anxiety, depression, or just hard times where im grappling with painful events or memories, there's nothing better than a bubble bath, candles, music, and a book...or cry.
Treat yoself. But, treat yoself like you really love you and want you to be healthy and happy. Maybe don't treat yoself to the handle of vodka and the drunk dials, but treat yoself to a massage, a day alone, some green juice, a face mask, and an early bedtime. Treat yoself with healing things, not masking things.
Don't make big decisions. This is a little one I learned from my life coach, Tiffani Purdy (find her at www.tiffanipurdy.com). Check in with yourself. It you're at an emotional 4 or below on a scale of 1-10, don't make decisions. Curl up in that ball and cry, talk to a friend, take a nap, but maybe don't go get a haircut or tattoo or quit your job.
Allow yourself to feel the things. Observe the emotions and where they're coming from. Could you have done things differently? if yes, learn the lesson. If no, release. Forgive yourself or others for the pain you're experiencing, and release it.
Cut those cords! Cord cutting has had a HUGE positive impact on my emotional wellbeing! It allows you to break the energetic bond that keeps you tied to a person, place, or thing that is still causing you pain. Along with the cord cutting comes forgiveness. I use a combination of cord cutting and the ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and healing, Ho'oponopono. I say outloud, "I love you. I forgive you. I thank you. I release you. I release energy that is attaching me to this person and the pain that was carried with it." This can be done to yourself, too. I'll write an in-depth blog post about some of these practices one day, but these are the cliff notes to get you through in a pinch. You'd be surprised at how much lighter you feel after saying these things outlaid with a person or event in mind.
Now, forgive. Forgive yourself, forgive your transgressor, the universe, God, whomever or whatever has caused you pain.
Let magic happen. You just grew!
As Tiffani says, "Burying painful memories only assures that you'll repeat the pattern. Observe. Learn. Forgive. Grow." Amen, sister. Amen.
Until next time, I believe in you,
- Mer
